A Simple Deduction
by Sharkiedo
Summary: Sherlock intends to help John find love, but something happens that he never could have forseen. May at some point include vulgar language. Havent decided if I want to include that yet. We'll have to see I guess.
1. Chapter 1

London was being incredibly boring. It had been weeks since an interesting case had surfaced and Sherlock Holmes was going a bit crazy. John had been taking extra shifts at the hospital leaving Sherlock alone in the flat hoping for something to catch his attention. He found himself wandering the streets of London late at night, observing the _normal_ humans doing incredibly boring, _normal_ people things.

After wandering around London for almost two hours, Sherlock had had enough and began heading back to Baker Street. It was around 2 in the morning on a cool fall night. Sherlock pulled out his phone he noticed a couple texts from John.

"_Sherlock, where are you? JW"_

_"It's nearly midnight, when are you coming home? JW"_

_"I've left dinner in the oven for you. JW"_

Ignoring the text, Sherlock continues walking home and arrives twenty minutes later to find John sitting in the living room, sipping on tea and reading a book.

"You were out late. Any reason as to why?"

"Bored."

"Well you really shouldn't be wandering the streets so late. Something could have happened."

"At least I would have had something to do."

"Being sent to the hospital is not _something to do_, Sherlock. Would you like to hear about my night?"

Sherlock shrugged off his coat, tossing it to the nearest chair and walked over to the seat opposite John, who had a very annoyed look on his face.

"You could at least hang that up rather than throwing it on the nearest object. It would be nice to have a tidy flat for once."

"I thought you had some kind of story you wanted to tell me." Sherlock says without even acknowledging Johns remark. He pulled his knees up to his chest and looked to John, preparing himself for the very likely chance this story would only bore him even more than walking around London.

"There's a new girl at the hospital, Charlotte. After our shift at the Hospital I took her out and we seemed to hit it off. I'm seeing her again tomorrow night."

"How wonderful for you John. Is she different from the others? Does she make your heart skip a beat. Being a Doctor I thought that might worry you some. You should have that checked out."

"No need to be rude Sherlock. She really is very nice."

"I do hope I'll be invited to the wedding. I don't know what I would do if I wasn't invited." Sherlock threw up his hands in the air and made a face before looking at John and raising an eyebrow indicating that he had no interest in Charlotte, or that they were to go out again.

Standing up, John set down his book, and without even looking at Sherlock and went straight to his room.

The next evening, Sherlock was standing at the window playing his violin when he heard the door to the flat slam shut and heavy footsteps marching up the stairs. It didn't take him very long to deduce that the second date did not go well. As John entered the flat, Sherlock quickly turned to see a very angry John Watson. He stopped right inside the door, and glared at Sherlock.

"I don't want to hear a word out of you! Not one _single_ word. You turn around and play your damn violin all night. I'm going to BED."

Sherlock had lived with Doctor John Watson for almost three years now. He witnessed relationship after relationship fail, never taking much interest but this time, seeing as London was being so _boring_, Sherlock decided that he would try and help the lonely Doctor find love.

He honestly had no idea what he was doing.


	2. Chapter 2

Sherlock had observed John for the last few days. Noting any habits that may be annoying to someone who was in a relationship with him. He made a mental note to write these up for John and present them to him, along with names of women willing to go on a date with the Doctor. Sherlock was not wrong in deducing that John as well, had been observing Sherlock and his weird behaviour.

"Sherlock. What are you doing?"  
"Nothing. Im not doing anything."  
"You're obviously doing something and I'd like to know what it is."  
"I'm going to my room. Do not bother me."

As soon as Sherlock was in his room he locked the door. Striding over to his bedside table he pulled a pad of paper out of a drawer and wrote "nosey" in block letters.

John watched as Sherlock hurried to his room and locked the door. Still convinced that Sherlock was up to something he got up from his chair slowly and tip toed his way to Sherlocks bedroom door. Carefully placing his ear on the cold wood John could hear Sherlock muttering to himself.

_"Why must he always be so difficult?!"  
"Always suspicious."  
"And then he just looks at me as if _I'm _crazy!"  
"This might not be easy to bring up."  
"He is a military man after all. He might be offended."  
"But he must have realized it by now. Three years we've lived together! How could he not know whats going on! Hes not_ that_ stupid._"

John slowly backed away from the door, eyes wide, confusion filling his features. Was Sherlock really doing what John thought he was doing? Was this why Sherlock had been acting so _odd_ lately. Did Sherlock have feelings for John that John himself never thought possible? So many things were racing through Johns mind that he found himself dizzy and made his way to his bedroom.

Once there John sat on his bed, closed his eyes and rubbed his temples. If Sherlock was going to be very unlike Sherlock John would have to figure out how he felt. The idea of being with Sherlock, although strange, was not something the Doctor hadn't thought of before. After just a few months of living at 221B, John had caught himself quite a few times watching Sherlock as he paced the flat. Noticing little things here and there. Like when Sherlock was stressed he would start picking up random items around the room, lose his train of thought and continue pacing. The way that Sherlock walked, the way his hips moved with each step. The way he smiled when working on a case and figured out a piece of the puzzle.

It hadn't taken long for the Doctor to realize that, maybe being with Sherlock wouldn't be such a bad thing. It would not be easy at all, and it could ruin their entire relationship, but it could also be amazing and completely worth the risk.


	3. Chapter 3

A few days later Sherlock had his list. He had worked up enough nerve to talk to John. He had no idea what he was going to say.

Sherlock sat, perched on a chair by the window waiting for the Doctor to return home. Sherlock remembered him muttering about the mess and the lack of edible food in the house and that he was going to the store.

Sherlock was glad for the alone time to think of what he was going to say when he did get home.

Sherlock was half-way to panicked when he heard a key in the door, the sound of boots coming up the stairs, and the rusting of grocery bags being brought up. He jumped from his position and straight to John, nearly knocking him over grabbing for the bags in his hands.

"Hello John. Let me help you with those."  
"Hi Sherlock. Careful with that one! Its got eggs."  
"Wonderful. I love eggs. Can we have a chat?" Sherlock said this so quickly is almost came out as one word. "Make yourself comfortable. Ill make us some tea." He said just as quickly. Away he went into the kitchen boiling water and putting some biscuits John had bought on a plate.

John knew what was coming and he was ready. Over the last couple days, John had been preparing himself for what was about to happen.

Sherlock returned to the living room with tea and biscuits in hand. He handed John his cup and placed the plate on a nearby table. He looked down at John, pursing his lips, thinking of where to start.

"John. I have something that I'd like to bring to your attention." He fumbled with his hands looking for the right words to say. "As you know, we have lived in this flat for three years. You are one of the only people that I can stand to be around for more than a few minutes. You are an intelligent man, and you have earned my respect - even though you can be infuriating at times."

Sherlock then started pacing back and forth, hands behind his back.

"As you know we haven't had a case in quite a while and I've had a lot of time to think and I -"

John set down his tea and stood up suddenly, cutting Sherlock off short. Sherlock stopped in his tracks and watched the Doctor walk over to him by the window.

"I have a feeling I know what you're going to say Sherlock. And, Ive been thinking it over these last few days and I want you to know that I feel the same."

With that, John closed the gap between him and Sherlock, placed a hand behind the detectives neck and pulled Sherlocks lips to his.

Sherlock froze. His mind racing. Sherlock had not expected this. Had not expected to ever be this close to John. All Sherlock could do was stand there, frozen, shocked, his mind working at a mile a minute trying to figure out Johns motives.

John broke the kiss, pulled away from Sherlock and looked into the detectives eyes, searching for something, anything to let John know what Sherlock was thinking. Sherlock glared at John stepped back slowly and as quickly as he could, went straight to his room, locked the door, and picked up his violin.

John, left standing in the living room, felt like he never had before. Of the number of women who had rejected him, it was Sherlock that hurt the most. It was a daring move to make, but he didn't expect Sherlock to react so negatively. This is what Sherlock wanted as well. Wasnt it? Hurt and confused, John headed towards his room, passing by the detectives, listening to anything other than the sound of his violin. Hearing nothing he sighed a went to his room, dreading what tomorrow had in store for him.


	4. Chapter 4

It had been three days since the _incident. _Thats what John was calling it. Sherlock had only come out of him room a few times to use the loo or grab something from another room before retreating back to his room. John had tried to talk to Sherlock about what happened but the detective wouldnt even look at him, let alone talk to him. John was humiliated.

* * *

Sherlock hated being confused. He hated all emotions actually. John was confusing the hell out of him. John had kissed him. On the mouth. John kissed him on the mouth and the detective could not figure out how he _felt _about it. Did Sherlock have feelings for John that he himself didnt know about? Was it even possible for Sherlock to feel something like that towards John.

* * *

John was surpised to find Sherlock sitting in the kitchen when he returned home. He was surprised when the detective didnt instantly retreat to his room. Instead Sherlock looked up from his microscope, stood up, and straigtened his jacket.

"I'd like a word if thats alright with you." Sherlock started towards John, who tensed up instantly. Sherlock stopped and headed towards the living room, gesturing for John to follow. The two men were standing in the living room when John started apologizing.

"Listen, Sherlock - about the other day. Im sorry. I dont know what came over me. We can just forget about it if you want. Or Ill move out. Whatever you prefer." The doctor was rambling - trying to break the silence, while Sherlock just stared at the doctor.

"I want to try an experiment, John. You obviously have feelings for me. That was made apparent when you kissed me just days ago. I thought I was incapable of those feelings but you proved that I was wrong." Sherlock paused for a moment and went over to John and placed his hand in the doctors. He stared at their intertwined hands, Johns were rough, smaller than Sherlocks, but were strong. Sherlock studied Johns confused face and brought his free hand and held it over the doctors racing heart. Sherlock let go of Johns hand, ran it up the doctors arm and fixed it behind his neck.

"Sherlock. I know you well enough to know that physical anything makes you uncomfortable." The two men were close enough that they were sharing the same breaths, could feel the heat coming off of eachother.

"Thats the problem isn't it John. My own body and mind are betraying me." With that Sherlock closed the distance between himself and John, bringing their lips together. After a few seconds, John pulled away, attempting to free himself from Sherlocks grip on his neck.

Confused, John studied Sherlocks face, bringing his hands from his side and placed them on Sherlocks face, effectively holding him there. "What does this mean Sherlock?"

"It means that this should have been our first kiss, John Watson."

Sherlock wrapped his arm around the doctor, pulled him close and kissed him again with more urgency than before. They explored eachothers mouths with their tongues, which made John moan quietly, which in turn made Sherlock's kissing even more frantic.

John managed to break away to take a breath. "Sh .. Sherlock" It came out less of a word, more like a moan and Sherlock brought their lips crashing back together. Sherlock had managed to drag both of them onto the couch and John was on top of Sherlock, who had one foot resting on top of the couch, and the other on the floor, while John was straddling the detective. John had moved on to Sherlocks neck, kissing the area just under his ear, which made Sherlock make a noise John had never heard before.

"John..." Sherlock whispered into his ear, "John stop." Sherlock placed his hands on Johns chest, lightly pushing him away.

"Did I do something wrong? Whats the matter?" John looked slightly hurt as he questioned Sherlock.

"No. Absolutely not, its just ... John, Ive never done this before. This is all completely new to me. Ive never felt this way about someone before. Certainly not another man." Sherlock was looking for words that wouldnt hurt Johns feelings. "I want to take this slow if thats okay with you."

John slowly sat up and positioned himself so he was sitting comfortably between Sherlocks legs. He reached for the detectives hand and held it to his chest. "This is all new to me too you know. Before all this I thought you couldnt even stand to be in the same room with me. I was ready to leave, Sherlock. I thought I had broken you."

Sherlock sat up so his chest was touching Johns shoulder. He playfully kissed John forehead and whispered, "For now, lets just go to bed. Theres always tomorrow."

John stood and held out his hand for the consulting detective, leading them to Sherlocks room for the night.

* * *

**If you like my story or have any suggestions PLEASE message me or leave a review. This is my first ever story and Im trying to make it as interesting as possible.**

**Thanks for reading!**


	5. Chapter 5

Sherlock sat against the headboard and watched John as he slept. He couldnt bring himself to sleep, and kept replaying what had happened that night in his head, reviewing everything in detail. Sherlock brushed a stray hair out of Johns eyes and he thought about the kiss. Johns arms around him, feeling himself relax, and become comfortable with the doctor. It sent a shiver up his spine. The thought of being that close to his best friend was terrifying, but also very exciting. John shifted his position in the detectives bed. He snuggled up closer to Sherlock and draped an arm over his abdomen. Sherlock felt his whole body stiffen automatically from the foreign touch. He quickly reminded himself that this was John. The same John who had stuck by him through all the times when a normal person would have just walked out. The same John who Sherlock felt he could be most himself. That same John who Sherlock had, just this night, shared something that he had never shared with anyone else. He uncrossed his arms and layed one on Johns back, feeling the strong muscles in his shoulder. Sherlock scooted down a little, just enough that he could easily rest his head on top of Johns if he had wanted to. He considered it, but thought better of it and continued to lay there as his John slept.

* * *

John woke the next morning to an empty bed and a quiet flat. He knew Sherlock had stayed in the bed most of the night because he had woken up to find the detective pretending to sleep. He thought it sweet that Sherlock would put in the effort, pretending to sleep to show the doctor that he was comfortable with him. John knew that something in Sherlocks brain was nagging at him to stop, that this was not normal Sherlock behavior. John would just have to take everything very slow with Sherlock and try not to scare him off. He slowly set about to getting out of bed, putting on slippers, using the loo, and heading to the kitchen for a little breakfast. Sherlock was in the kitchen as well, studying a slide on his microscope. John quietly slid past him and began boiling water for tea for the both of them and made some toast for himself.

"Did you sleep well?" Sherlock asked without looking away from his slide.

"I did, thanks." He finished preparing the tea, handed a cup to Sherlock and took a seat beside him. He began eating his sad excuse for a breakfast when he felt a pair of cool eyes studying him.

"Did you know you talk in your sleep? Very early this morning you started saying my name."

John couldnt hide the blush that was appearing on his face. He remembered the dream vividly. Sherlock had taken John on a date, and when they returned to the flat they had started going at it. It wasn't the first dream like this that John had experienced and he was embarrassed that Sherlock may have been in the room when he was having said dream. "Is that why you were gone when I woke up?"

Sherlock didn't answer, he just took Johns hand in his and lightly kissed it. "I was thinking that maybe we could go out to eat tonight. Maybe around say .. seven?" Sherlock looked at John, preparing himself for a rejection_, _but only saw delight in Johns features.

"Like .. a date?" John asked, shock and amusement in his voice.

"I guess so. We dont have to call it a date if you dont want to. We could just be going out to dinner casually. Or it could be a date."

"Do you want it to be a date, Sherlock?" John might have been pushing it a little, but he wanted to see Sherlocks reaction.

"Well ... isnt that what couples would call going out to dinner alone?" Sherlock panicked. He used the '_C' _word. "Not that we are a couple or anything yet, unless you wanted to be." He pulled his hand away from Johns and went back to studying whatever he had on his microscope, trying to hide the blush that had shown itself on his cheeks from the doctor.

"A date would be wonderful, Sherlock." John replied smiling. He did love to see Sherlock panic about the smallest things. John reached over and took hold of Sherlocks hand, pulling it towards him, and returned the kiss he had gotten moments earlier from Sherlock.

* * *

**Ooohhhhh their first date is coming up! I hope you're liking what Ive written so far. as Ive said before this is my first fanfiction ever and it may still be a little rough around the edges but Im enjoying it so far. Leave reviews or whatever!**

**Thanks for reading!**


	6. Chapter 6

Sherlock had woken up with two things; a snoring doctor beside him, and a text from Lestrade. Apparently there had been a murder in the night and Lestrade, either to stupid or to lazy to figure it out for himself, was requesting Sherlocks help. Not wanting to wake John, he carefully slipped out of bed and changed. Tip toeing his way to the door Sherlock took one last look at the sleeping John, smiled, and closed the door behind him.

_"On my way. SH"_

It was still quite early in the morning and not many people had escaped the warmth of their beds. Sherlock hailed a taxi and made his way to the crimescene. Once there it was easy enough for Sherlock to deduce that the victim, a woman in her early 30s, had been leaving a pub late at night and, unfortunately for her, walked right into a mugger. He had taken most of her belongings and shot her dead in the street.

"You really didnt need my help with this you know. All the information is right here, laid out before you. Now if you need anything else from me, text me. But I really must get home." Sherlock pulled up the collar of his jacket and walked away from a shocked Lestrade without another word.

Sherlock had hoped to get back to Baker Street before John had woken up. He didnt know if John would be upset that he had just left him while he went to help Lestrade. Suddenly Sherlock stopped in his tracks. He had forgotton that tonight, John and himself would be going on their first date. Panic began to rise inside the detective and as he got out of his taxi, paid the driver and started walking towards 221B he had started to dread seeing John.

Sherlock did not like feeling nervous. It made him feel vulnerable, and absolutely ridiculous. But this had been Sherlocks idea and he had to go through with it. He slowly made his way up the stairs and into the flat. John was sitting in the living room, Sherlock could see that John had woken up not to long ago and gave him a quick smile while he took off his coat and hanging it on the coat rack, remembering that John hated it when he left it lying around the flat.

"Morning. Where did you go so early in the morning?"  
"Lestrade. Needed help with figuring out a murder. Simple really, wrong place, wrong time." Sherlock made his way to the kitchen to warm himself up with a cup of tea. "I hope I didnt wake you when I left."  
"I wouldnt have minded if you had. Watching you when you're working on a case is always amazing." John winked at Sherlock, who in return, blushed just a little. "I think Im going to go take a shower." John had thought of adding _if you want to join me_ but thought better of it. He wasnt sure where Sherlock was with this whole relationship thing and the last thing he wanted to do was push him. As John got up and headed to the washroom Sherlock held out his hand for the doctor. Once their hands were intertwined Sherlock pulled Johns hand close and laid a light kiss on the back of his hand, John leaned over and returned the gesture with a kiss on Sherlocks forehead.

* * *

It was 6:30 that evening. Sherlock stood in front of his mirror. He was wearing a jacket that John had once said looked very good on him. He had never cared enough to think so much about how he presented himself to John until their relationship changed entirely. He wondered if John was feeling this nervous.

He was.

John also stood, looking at himself in the mirror. Scrutinizing his appearance. Sherlock didnt tell him where they were going, so he didnt know if he should need to dress accordingly. He settled for collared shirt and a nice jacket, hoping that he looked casual, yet well put together. He heard a light knock on the door, and answered it. There stood Sherlock, looking absolutely stunning. John couldnt help but think that he was quite possibly the luckiest man in the world.

"Ready to go? I didnt know if I should wait in the living room, or pick you up." Sherlock laughed just a little, "Would it be considered picking you up since we live in the same flat? Either way, Im ready when you are."

"Lets go." John slipped his hand into Sherlocks and let him lead the way.

The restaurant wasnt very far from Baker Street - a few blocks. It was a lovely restaurant that John had wanted to try for some time. The food smelled delicious and John was almost giddy with excitement to sit down to an actual meal with Sherlock.

"Thanks." John said to the host after being shown to their table. It was a quiet, table for two tucked away near the back of the restaurant that provided an adequate amount of privacy for the two men.  
"I hope you like my choice of restaurant. Ive heard you mention it before and thought this would be the perfect time to try it out."  
"Its perfect, Sherlock."  
"Good, because technically," he paused for a moment, looking for the right words, "this is my first date. I have no clue what sort of establishment is acceptable for a date." He looked away sheepishly before turning to find John looking at him with a small smile on his face.  
"Anywhere would have been perfect as long as you were there." He took off his jacket, revealing the casualish shirt underneath. "I was prepared for anything!" He let out a small laugh and continued to smile at Sherlock, who was returning his smile.

Dinner was going surprisingly well. Sherlock had actually eaten most of his meal, and the two men had refrained from talking about work. A question had been nagging at John for the last few days and he felt this would be a good time to bring it up.

"So, what were you going to talk to me about on the night I kissed you?"  
Sherlock felt panic rise in his chest, just like that same morning. Would his answer upset John? And if it did what would that mean?  
"Well .. As you know, many of your relationships in the past didnt seem to work out very well for you and I thought that I could maybe have been some help to you." Sherlock paused, calculating Johns reaction and thinking of where to go next. "I had planned on showing you a list of small details about you that women might find unsavoury in a companion."  
"You what?" John looked a little upset. "So what did you do with that list after I kissed you and you locked yourself in your room for days?"  
"You have to realize that Ive never kissed, or been kissed before. I locked myself in my room to try and clear my head." Sherlock didnt want to tell John was happened to the list, but he knew that it wouldnt be long before the doctor coaxed him into telling.  
"What did you do with the list, Sherlock." It wasnt a question. John was demanding Sherlock tell him the answer before he left Sherlock in the restaurant by himself.  
"I kept it for the first day. Stared at what I had written. Thought about each of the things I had written there. It seems incredibly stupid now, but I thought it would help you and I suppose I was wrong." Sherlock fixed his eyes on his almost empty plate, using his fork to move around some of the vegetables that sat there hoping this conversation would end.  
"It was incredibly stupid. But it was also very sweet." Sherlock looked away from his plate and at John, he wore an extremely confused face. He had expected yelling, but instead he was getting called sweet.  
"You watched me for days. And in some twisted way that only you could master, was very sweet."  
"Im not sure Ill ever understand you Mr. Watson." John narrowed his eyes as another question came to his mind.  
"So where is this list now?"  
"I burnt it. In the garbage pail in my room. It got a little out of hand and ended up catching fire to part of the floor and the wall. To much lighter fluid I guess." Sherlock began to relax. "After you kissed me something changed in me John. It took me a few days to realize, but Im starting to come around to the idea that relationships and love arent such a bad thing after all." Sherlock stood and leaned over the table, bringing his lips to Johns just as the waiter was bringing over their cheque. Sherlock paid and the two men headed out into the night, heading home.

* * *

The men had returned home, and were both on the couch. John was sitting with Sherlock leaning against him.  
"I had a wonderful night Sherlock."  
"It was pretty good wasnt it? Im not so bad at this date thing I guess." Sherlock nudged the doctor, smiled and rested his hand on Johns thigh. "You've changed me, Mr. Watson."

* * *

**And behold! The first Johnlock date. Hopefully you liked this chapter, it was a long one! Thanks to Eryberrie for the suggestion of a little fight and the makeup. Hopefully you didnt expect more of a makeup .. Sherlocks just not there yet!**

Thanks for reading, and if you have any more things you like to read in my story let me know! 


	7. Chapter 7

Sherlock was jealous. For the last couple days the two men had been working on a particularly annoying case and John was attracting the attention of a new girl at Scotland Yard. John had no interest in her - which Sherlock knew - but he still couldnt shake the jealous feeling. John was his and he wasnt sharing. Ever. Sherlock was enjoying what he and John had. John had brought out the _romantic _side of Sherlock, a side which Sherlock was - until this point - positive he did not have. John was distracting Sherlock from his work and all he was doing was standing there! The detective caught himself more than once daydreaming about John. Wanting to tear off his clothes and explore eachothers bodies. The thought terrified Sherlock. He would just have to think of it as another experiment. That had worked before and if he was correct, it would work again. As far as Sherlock knew, John had never been with a man, so it would be a new experience for both of them. Sherlock was done being shy.

* * *

John was sitting in the living room, having a cup of tea, and Sherlock was sitting opposite him staring out the window. John had just set his cup down when Sherlock got off his chair, and sat next to John on the sofa.

"Sherl-" Before he could get one work out Sherlock was on him. Their lips crashing together, Sherlocks tongue exploring Johns mouth. Sherlock had never kissed him like this before - with this kind of purpose. Sherlock had an arm wrapped around John, and one tangled in his hair. Sherlock laid back so John was laying on top of him. Sherlock moved his hands from Johns back down his side onto the doctors hips, effectively holding him there. John moaned quietly at Sherlocks touch and started grinding his hips into the consulting detectives. The grinding John had coaxed a soft moan out of Sherlock, who had begun to attempt to free the doctor of his clothes. John broke the kiss to remove his sweater, bringing his lips back to Sherlocks as he began unbuttoning Sherlocks shirt. Both men were now shirtless and John sat up and, for the first time, marveled at Sherlocks body. His skin was pale and smooth as marble. John ran his hands up and down Sherlocks arms, his body, leaving goosebumps everywhere he touched.

"You are an amazing man, Sherlock Holmes."  
Sherlock was smiling up at John. Sherlock was studying the scars on Johns chest. He had kept them hidden so well with clothes, but they were hard to miss when the doctor was stradling Sherlock. "I didnt know you had so many scars." He said while using his fingers to trace a particularly large one on his abdomen.  
"I try to forget about them. Bad memories I suppose." John removed his hands from Sherlocks chest and absent-mindedly traced of a few of his scars as well.  
"Ive made you uncomfortable. Im sorry." Sherlock moved his hands from Johns torso and rested them on his thighs. He sat up and slowly pushed John back so Sherlock was on top of him now. "If you'd like to stop its alright." He slowly started moving his hands from Johns thighs, up his chest, down his arms and took hold of his hands, lifting them above Johns head. Sherlocks face was close enough Johns that he only had to whisper.  
"I'd be more upset if you stopped." He lightly kissed Sherlock but pulled away, "But whats gotten into you?"  
"I want to be with you, John. Completely. I want you to know how much I care about you and I dont want to lose you." Sherlock attempted to kiss John but he moved away. John sat up - with some difficulty, Sherlock was heavier than he looked - and studied the detectives face.  
"Why would you be worried about losing me? Im right here Sherlock. Right here. With you. Why in the world would you think Im going anywhere?"  
"What if Im not good enough for you." Sherlock freed himself from John and started pacing the room. "I dont know what Im _doing_, John! What if _I _cant do this, John." He used his hands to motion between the two men and ran his hands through his curly hair. "Im no good to you John. You deserve better than _this!" _Sherlock was in full panic mode now. John was about to reply when Sherlock stalked off to his bedroom, locking the door behind him and picking up his violin. He began playing a melody that was one of Johns favourites, but it was also mixed with a sad sounding song he had never heard before. With a huff, John collected the scattered clothes and headed to him room, stopping outside Sherlocks door and hung his shirt on the doorknob. He sighed and made his way to his own room for the night.

* * *

It was around 3 in the morning and Sherlock had just stopped playing his violin. John hadnt been able to sleep because of the violin and because he was worried about what was going on with Sherlock. He heard the detectives door open and light footsteps heading towards his room.  
"Are you awake John?" Sherlock had peeked his head inside the doctors room.  
"Yes, Sherlock. Im awake. What do you want?" John had tried to sound angry, but he was mostly relieved to see Sherlock standing in his door.  
"Well ... I just wanted to ... apologize. For earlier." He was slowly creeping his way into Johns room.  
"You dont have to apologize." John made room in his bed for Sherlock, "come here," the detective slid right in beside him under the covers. "We can talk in the morning, but right now, Id really like to get some sleep." Sherlock pulled John close to him and quickly kissed him on top of the head before falling asleep.

* * *

**Hope you liked the chapter! I was going to take this chapter in so many different ways but I kept changing my mind. Id like to know if you would like me to "fade to black" or put all the details in there. Any other feedback would help too! **


	8. Chapter 8

The sun was shining through this windows as Sherlock woke up and John had his arm slung across the Detectives bare chest. John woke as Sherlock turned to look at him and smiled up to his Detective.

"Good morning, Sherlock. Sleep well?"

"Very well, actually. You?"

John began kissing Sherlocks chest, making his way up to his lips, his hands running up and down Sherlocks body leaving goosebumps everywhere he touched. Sherlock wrapped an arm around the Doctor, holding the smaller man to him. John swung his leg over the Detective, straddling him, and placed his hands on Sherlocks chest, holding himself up, he studied the Detectives body in the sunlight, his pale skin glowing a beautiful shade of white.

"You are absolutely gorgeous, Sherlock. I could stay in this bed forever if it were possible."

"Anything is possible, John." The Detective took advantage of Johns position and ran his hands up and down Johns thighs.

John, not taking his eyes from Sherlocks, slowly ran his hand down Sherlocks chest, his stomach, and stopped at the waistband of his boxers. Sherlocks back arched as John played with the waistband of his boxers.

"Dont stop John .. dont stop..." Sherlock sighed as John slid his hand under his boxers.

* * *

Sherlock woke with a start, his heart racing and an odd feeling in his pants. He still had goosebumps from where dream John has touched him. Unlike his dream, Sherlock woke up to an empty bed, and he reluctantly made his way downstairs to the kitchen to find John. Sure enough, there he was, coffee in hand and a very angry look on his face.

"You know, it should be me with that look on my face. You hate it when I leave you in bed so I thought you would have stayed." Sherlock said in a joking tone.

John ignored Sherlocks comment completely and asked, "What was wrong with you last night?"

"So we havent forgotten my little outburst? Do we have to talk about it right now?"

"Yes, Sherlock. We do. You seem to be having trouble dealing with whatever we're doing here." John used his hands to motion between him and Sherlock. "You need to tell me what you're thinking and where you are with this relationship. Because if this is just another one of your _stupid _experiments I want no part in it. I have real feelings for you, Sherlock and if you cant tell me how you feel then I dont know if I can do this anymore!"

Sherlock was a little shocked at Johns words. He walked over to an armchair, sat down and brought his knees up to his chest and ran his fingers through his hair.

"Its not as easy as you make it sound." It came out as a whisper compared to Johns.

"Yes it is Sherlock! You have done numerous things that were much more difficult than this!"

"I know but .. "

"But nothing Sherlock! Either you talk or I am walking out that door." John pointed to the door and slammed his cup of coffee on the table. Sherlock flinched at the sound of the cup hitting the table and the anger in Johns voice.

Sherlock sat, staring at the floor while John was filled with more and more anger.

"Well .. Say _something_"

"I ... John ... you ... " Sherlock was racking his brain for the right words to say.

"Sherlock .. " John got up and sat on the couch opposite the detective. "Just talk to me! "

"Im just confused, John!"

"You can talk to me about anything. You know that right? I wont laugh, or judge you. I just want you to trust me as much as I trust you!" John was calming down a little bit, trying to comfort the Detective and to get him to talk.

"Ive been having these dreams. Since the first time we kissed. Always the same dream."

"And what is this dream about?"

Sherlock hesitated, not wanting to discuss this with John. He wasnt ready for it.

"I dream of you, John."

"Me?" John was curious now. Were the dreams bad? Good? His mind was racing, thinking of all the possibilities.

"Yes. And I dont know what they mean. They are good dreams, but each time I have it I wake up terrified." Sherlock was still not making eye contact with John, looking anywhere other than at the Doctor. His eyes always gave everything away.

"How exactly can a dream be good but terrify you at the same time? Just explain what happens in the dream, Sherlock."

"Its embarassing."

"Im willing to bet it isnt. You're just thinking to much into it."

"Well ... the dreams take place in the morning. I wake up, and you're beside me. You wake up just after me, and we, I guess, snog. Thats the word right? Anyways, that happens for a little while and then you straddle me, and reach your hand into my trousers." Sherlock finally made eye contact with John. "And then I wake up."

"So .. " John was having trouble finding his voice. Sherlock was dreaming of sex with John. And it was good, but it terrified him. "What part of that is good and what part is terrifying?"

"Its all good John! Whats terrifying is that Ive never - not in my whole life - had a dream like this. I really didnt think myself able to have such a dream. To have those sorts of feelings. Craving your touch, wanting to be with you completely." Sherlock took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Its all new to me, and I dont know what to do with these ... these feelings!"

"We can talk about it, Sherlock. Ive never done any of this with a man either so its all new to me in a way. Is this why everytime we ... you know ... you get all weird?"

"I suppose so."

"If you're uncomfortable with anything you just have to tell me to stop! I wont be mad at you, Sherlock. I love you."

John froze as he realized what he had just said. Saying 'I love you' was certainly no way to calm down his Detective.

"You .. love me?"

"Well ... I guess so." John panicked, "Dont freak out or anything, but I think I might have been in this relationship a lot longer than you, and I dont know, it doesnt have to mean anything if you dont want it to. We can just forget about it."

"I dont want to forget about it."

Sherlock rose from his chair and sat on the couch with John. He sat cross-legged facing the Doctor and took hold of his hands - which were shaking.

"I dont know what love feels like. Ive never felt it before, but I have very strong feelings for you, John. I dont know what I would do if I lost you, or hurt you in any way. When you arent around I feel like a part of me has gone missing, and its harder to breath when you arent around. When you touch me I get chills, and when we kiss it feels like electricity is flowing through my whole body. If thats love then, I love you too, John."

"Oh, Sherlock..." John reached up to caress Sherlocks face, bringing their lips together.

* * *

**Sorry it took me so long to update this. I didnt know if I still liked it or not. Ive had part of this chapter written since the last time I updated and I kept coming back everyday and changing it. Im still not to sure how I feel about it, but I dont completely hate it right at this second.**

Please leave reviews on your thoughts, good or bad I want to hear them! 


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